Happy Blogoversary

March 2nd 2013, the day I started this blog. If you had told me then that a year later I would be PUPO via another woman’s eggs, I would have screamed in horror.

March 3rd 2014, a year and a day later, I have finished reading my 195 posts. I started at the beginning and chose a combination of favourite posts, ones I think deserved a comment but didn’t get any, and ones that I thought would be most helpful to others in their respective journeys.

I’ve done my best to whittle down the list, but one thing’s for certain: I have been through a lot and I have learned a lot. It’s rather empowering to see how far I’ve come. I’m in a much better place than I was a year ago!

Wherever you are in your journey, I hope that you find a new post that resonates with you or that you enjoy reading an old favourite.

Thank you, as always, for walking alongside me.

Much love,

Lauren (and Three & Four) xx
♥ Mizuko Bean
♥ Miscarriage
♥ Spirituality
♥ Learning
♥ Mindfulness
♥ Medical Procedures
♥ Miscarriage Grief
♥ Healing After Miscarriage
♥ Reproductive Story
♥ TTC After Loss
♥ Infertility
♥ Donor Eggs
♥ DEIVF Cycle
♥ Looking towards the Future

Mizuko Bean

♥ Mizuko Kuyo – a private burial and ceremony

♥ Dear Little Mizuko Bean – a letter to my baby, an edited version of which will be include in the Three Minus One anthology, published in May. You can pre-order the book here.

♥ Undue Date: October 5th 2013 – learning to live with what is and what is not

♥ Miscarriage and Infertility Video Project – a song for my Bean to tell the tale of our story so far

♥ The Last Domino Played was the First to Fall – creating a memory box

Miscarriage

♥ Miscarriage of Justice – what it feels like to miscarry

♥ Gratitude – the things I was grateful for in the wake of my miscarriage

♥ Miscarriage: Ten Things Not to Say, and Ten Suggestions for What You Can Do to Help

Spirituality

♥ Finding Jizo, Part 2 –  how discovering Jizo, the Buddhist protector of unborn babies, put me on the path to healing

♥ Ghosts – a trip to the desert

♥ Butterfly – overcoming fears

♥ Mantras – wise words to ease the burden

♥ Revolution – when I stopped fighting my grief, a message came

♥ Give & Take: The Rhythm of Acceptance – a Buddhist book, a new friend reaches out, and about to hit rock bottom

Learning

♥ Introspection – who am I and what can I learn from my miscarriage?

♥ International Bereaved Mothers Day – what does it mean to be a mother?

Mindfulness

♥ Saying Goodbye – processing the news

♥ Mindfulness After Pregnancy Loss – how being aware of my feelings helps me work through grief

♥ Finding the Silver Lining – you can look at things two ways…

♥ (S)mothered with Anxiety – learning how to respond, not react, to strangers’ comments

Medical Procedures

♥ D&C (dilation and curettage) – surgery to remove what’s left of my pregnancy

♥ Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About an HSG – yes, it really is as painful as they say it is

♥ DEIVF Transfer – whether IVF with your own eggs or another woman’s, here’s what you need to know

Miscarriage Grief

♥ Living on the Edge of Panic – averting a panic attack

♥ Grief Reaction – a raw account of what grief feels like

♥ …One Step Back – waiting in The Waiting Room

♥ Mourning Sickness – singing the blues, two months after my miscarriage

♥ The Apocalypse – my grief finds its voice

Healing After Miscarriage

♥ The Salve that Heals the Wound – learning to live with the pain

♥ Epiphany – I choose life

♥ Wings and a Prayer – meeting my niece for the first time

Reproductive Story

♥ Tick Tock – why we waited to have a family — not that it would matter when we started trying…

TTC After Loss

♥ Watching and Waiting – back in That Waiting Room, now with questions

Infertility

♥ We’re Fucked – a shocking diagnosis and the day I hit absolute rock bottom

♥ Crossroads and Superstition – learning to trust in the process

♥ Battening Down the Hatches – meeting an RE for the first time as my grandmother lay dying

♥ Questions for God – because, dammit, I want answers

♥ The Ugliness of Grief – even in cycle with a donor, there is still grief to process

Donor Eggs

♥ Falling Into the Smallest Statistic of All – learning I have a structurally unstable chromosome

♥ London, and What Happens Next – family, funeral, friendships, and donor eggs

♥ Two People – my eggs or another woman’s?

♥ Coming to Terms with the Idea of Using an Egg Donor – title says it all

♥ Dripping with Sarcasm – the lowest form of wit

♥ Today Was an Awesome Day. Really! – I will soon be a published writer and we have a fabulous donor!!!

♥ Letting Go of the Genetic Child –  it’s hard, but I can do it

♥ Skeletons – Genetic Fail: Fertile but Fucked

♥ Mitochondrial DNA – coming to terms with the fact that my children won’t share my beloved great-grandmother’s genes

♥ Don’t You Wish Your Girlfriend Was a Freak Like Me? – struggling a bit

♥ Full Steam Ahead – the DEIVF protocol begins with a mock cycle

♥ Suffocating – the final bout of rage before finding peace with using donor eggs

♥ Flags of a Different Colour – embracing my family-building choice

♥ Marathon – after my niece’s baptism, a PVED meeting — hello, tribe members!

♥ Keep Lauren Happy Month (#KLaHM) – pampering myself, but hearing from our donor for the first time was the best treat of all

♥ DEIVF Resources – a good place to start if you’d like to learn more about donor egg IVF

DEIVF Cycle

♥ Reconceiving Bean: How I am Mentally and Physically Preparing for DEIVF – when you’re syncing with your donor, here are things you can focus on doing

♥ Follies – a spot of in-cycle humour

♥ After Upheaval, Retrieval! – getting the green light for egg collection

♥ Embryos! – we have almost as many embies as we were expecting total eggs

♥ Superstition – good luck charms to carry me through the days from retrieval to transfer

Looking towards the Future

♥ From Then to Maternity – a retrospective poem

♥ The Grand Canyon – if I can get through this, I can do anything

♥ Mitigating Shame – yes, there’s shame, but the future looks bright

♥ PUPO – these babies are MINE!