My trip to London has been cleaved into Before the News and After the News.
Blood test results are back. Although I don’t have Fragile X, I have some fucked up chromosome that looks like IVF with my own eggs is not an option. There is a chance that my genetic child would be severely mentally disabled and / or physically deformed. I don’t know how great a chance, but the notes accompanying the test results say that it is highly recommended that we see a genetic counsellor, screen any subsequent pregnancies, and inform first degree relatives. It is extremely rare and so there is almost no information online. DH has faxed the results over to Dr. D who will call him later today.
There is more to say. So much more–about the trip, about my grandmother, about why I quit twitter–but I can’t right now. Not yet. I am devastated. DH is devastated. We don’t have all the information, but we’ve parsed enough medical journals to understand that we may have reached a point where to continue with IVF with my own eggs would be financially very foolish and poses great moral dilemmas.
I never thought I would say this: but I am so envious of women who have simply, unfortunately, had a miscarriage. Life was so much simpler then.
My heart goes out to you both. There are no right words to say in this case, but please know you are in my thoughts and my prayers on the mountain. ((Hugs))
Thanks, Tina xo
I know that you are heading home soon. I wish for you the longest best hug ever with your husband. I wish so much more for you. I’m here for you one day at a time to help you bail water out of your boat after this perfect storm of suck. XO, comrade.
My lovely comrade. So much to say. xx
Oh Lauren. My heart is breaking for you. Sending a hug your way.
Hug received. Thank you xx
Thinking of you Lauren. XOXO
Thank you, Melanie xx
Sending you love Lauren, and if I could flowers and sunshine, I know words wont be able to ease your pain right now. Be kind to yourself. Big hug.XX
Thank you. No words can comfort me (apart from “Everything will be fine because I have seen into the future / IVF worked / healthy baby on the way / baby is here, alive and kicking”) but it’s been a huge comfort to know that there are strangers rooting for us. Thank you xo
I am so very sorry! I have been thinking about you and so sad to hear this. This is completely unfair!
Thank you xo
No words, just sending love and light your way. <3
Thank you xo
Oh, no Lauren. I was so hoping that you would just be able to go to IVF, and that would be that. I hardly know what to say, except that I’m terribly sorry. What an awful time for you. If you want to talk, you know where to find me. Huge hugs to you…
So did I… Seems like every time I agree to the bar being set higher and my expectations lower, something comes along and pushes those two poles apart…
I have you in my thoughts a lot. How cruel can life be to one person? You deserve so much more than this and I feel gutted for you and your DH. I hope the genetic counsellor can provide you with some hope. For the mean time, take care of yourself and each other and lean on the support you have. I will be keeping you in my prayers xxx
Thanks, Sarah. I know, it feels like we’ve had more than our fair share of shittiness this year. I appreciate your prayers, love xx
Lauren, I’m so sorry. I’m so sad for you and DH. That’s a lot of bad news to handle at once, and it’s incredibly unfair. I’m so hoping for a happy ending for you. I can imagine it’s frustrating to not be able to find much information online too. I hope the genetic counselor can answer all of your questions. Hugs to you :(
Thanks, Birdie. Well, it turns out we answered many of our questions ourselves. DH is smart like that. But good to have confirmation, and now we have another set of questions entirely…
Oh Lauren, I am so devastated to hear this news :( I’ve been thinking about you and wondering how your trip to London was, and my heart ached with this update. Please know I am thinking of you and am here to chat if you ever want to. This is probably not something you want to do right now considering everything, but I nominated you for a Liebster blogging award (info is on my latest post). No pressure at all to participate, but I wanted to let you know.
Lovely Annie, your Liebster Award post cheered me up. By now you have seen my response, the past month has not been a good one for responding to comments. So glad to have you in my (virtual!) life xo
Hey Lauren, sorry for the loss of your Grandmother :( I can’t imagine what it’s like to get bad news from the RE on top of losing your loved one–my heart goes out to you.
Thank you so much for your kind words. xo
Just checked out your blog — aha! another genetically screwed over person. *fistbump*