After spending so much time trying to become parents, when we are finally expecting a baby, we can hardly believe it. Where others might start buying baby gear early in their second trimester, a lot of us don’t dare until we reach the third trimester or later, leaving not very much time at all!
Consider this list a basic What You Need to Know. (With the caveat that, given that I am in the US, any links are to stores in the US.)
As always, this is just my opinion based on what has worked for my family.
The list is long, so click on each heading below to read more :)
BIRTH
Birth Preferences
It’s a good idea to have an idea of how you’d like to give birth, but also remain flexible. In other words, prepare to be unprepared! Even if you would like to deliver vaginally, I recommend the book Choosing Cesarean. That way, if you end up needing a cesarean you have an idea of what to expect. I can tell you that my caesarean with the twins was a wonderful choice and I didn’t experience much pain (thanks to excellent pain meds!) and was even lugging around the double stroller in and out of the car 10 days later! In case you’re interested, you can read my birth preferences here. My hospital was able to accommodate pretty much everything I wanted. If your hospital offers a volunteer doula program, TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT.
Doula
DO IT. Even if you have to pay for it, even if you’re planning a caesearean. She is there to support BOTH of you. Plus, she can take photos (if that’s important to you) leaving your partners to experience new parenthood. Find out if your hospital has a volunteer program; if not, start interviewing doulas in your second trimester. They tend to book up because they block out two weeks around your due date to ensure availability.
DIAPERING
Changing pad
I LOVE the Keekaro changing pad—you just wipe it down! At first glance, they’re expensive—but by the time you factor in a regular pad + three covers (that you have to regularly wash) it’s about the same price. Definitely a nice thing to put on your registry. Downside: can be a bit cool on baby’s skin in winter, so I always use a folded receiving blanket.
Diapers & Wipes
I loved the idea of cloth diapering, but opted for chlorine- and dye-free diapers both times. Ask for diapers and gift cards to Target and Amazon. I am dead serious. At 10.5 months, my twins go through about 10-12 diapers a day. Newborns go through much more (Like, 250 the first month, no exaggeration—you’ll be a diaper-changing ninja in no time!) You’ll have to figure out which brand/s fit your girls best. I prefer chlorine-free “eco-friendly” brands. I used Bambo with V, who was a broader baby; with the twins, who are smaller than V was, I toggle between Earth & Eden (Amazon) and Cloud Island (Target). Wipes: either Costco or Amazon brand for daily use. Water Wipes are nice, but pricey. They tend to be best for bottoms with diaper rash or runny noses (forget buying Boogie Wipes!) but don’t glide across the skin as well, so I don’t recommend them for daily bum-wiping.
Pro tip: When you’re in hospital, any supplies that come into your room are yours to keep. Don’t feel weird about taking stuff—your insurance will be billed for it regardless of whether you take it or not. So take the damn diapers!
Diaper pail
I learned about the Diaper Dekor pail from a triplet mom. Hands down the most economical pail! Get the Plus size—the other sizes are too small to bother with, IMHO. (You’ll be taking out the trash of a smaller pail so often your regular kitchen trash would do just as well.) Cheap refills available off-brand from Amazon.
FEEDING
I exclusively breastfed V until she was 2, and am combo-feeding (breast + formula) A and Z (twins), who are nearly a year old.
Breastfeeding
Accessories
Breastfeeding might not cost money* but that doesn’t mean it’s free. You’ll need nursing bras, nipple cream (this one is safe for baby), nursing pads (you will leak for weeks).
Haakaa is a great device for collecting breast milk that you leak. I got sick of my shirts getting soaked and when I started using it I realized I was wasting 3-4 ounces of milk! Collect the milk, add it to the next bottle.
Pro tip: unlike formula which has to be used immediately, breast milk can stay out at room temperature for 6-8 hours. So in the early days, I used to pump at 10pm and give that milk to Z (who couldn’t latch easily for a few months) whenever she woke up before 4am.
Bras
About a month before your due date, get measured for a nursing bra. To give you a sense of how big your tatas will get, I’m normally a B cup and for the first 6-8 weeks I go up to an E! (I’ve currently settled into a D cup.)
Breast pump
Your insurance will cover the cost (or a large part thereof) of a breast pump. You’ll ask your Ob for a prescription at 28 weeks (insurance won’t release authorization before then, unless a baby arrives before then…) If you’re planning on breastfeeding, I highly recommend the Spectra S1, which is a hospital-grade pump with rechargeable battery. If your insurance is like mine, it will cover the S2 at 100% (the non-rechargeable version) and ask you to pay the difference ($40) to upgrade to the S1. I highly recommend spending the extra $40 if your insurance doesn’t cover it.
Getting the Hang of Breastfeeding
It takes about 6-8 weeks for your supply to get established, so here’s some wisdom that was passed to me:
If you can breastfeed for a week, you can do it for a month;
and if you can do it for a month, you can do it.
If you have a partner, their support will be invaluable. They can wash bottles and pump parts and make sure you (breastfeeding parent) stays hydrated and fed. When you’re nursing, you will eat more than a teenager! A nursing person needs an extra 500 calories a day, per baby. Carbs are really good for making milk, so eat lots of things like oatmeal, toast with PB, etc.
Formula-Feeding
Even with my oversupply, breastfeeding twins can be tricky, so I supplement with European formula (and occasionally buying US formula in a pinch).
Euro formula is broken into stages: 1 (up to 6 months) and 2 (after 6 months*). You’ll see “pre” on some labels—this has nothing to do with premature infants. If I remember correctly, it refers to [I wanna say] starch as an ingredient. I’ve used Lebenswert 1 and 2, Loulouka 2, which I ordered from OrganicStart.com, FormulalandUSA.com, and Biologisch24.com (Germany-based).
US formula: I’ve used Earth’s Best starting at 9 months. Lactose-based, so I am okay with that; but cows are fed a mixture of grass and corn, whereas European formulas are made from grass-fed cows.
Further reading here.
Pro tip: babies can’t have powdered formula until they’re 2 months old, due to bacteria that their little tummies can’t handle.
Other Feeding Gear
Bibs
I never really bothered with bibs. My babies all hated the silicon ones and pull off anything with velcro. If I’m spooning food into their mouths in the heat of summer, they’re probably wearing just a diaper. At other times, I use a cotton tea towel from IKEA tied around their neck. At $0.79, they are super cheap and you can bung ’em in the wash without worrying. I usually have 12 floating between kitchen table and washer/dryer.
Bottles
Dr. Brown’s
Lots of people don’t like them because of the extra parts, but that’s all we know. Really helped Z with her reflux.
High Chairs
We have the Peg Perego Siesta high chair. Pricey, but you can use it from birth as it reclines. Our first one (for V) was a generous gift from my mum; we liked it so much that we bought a second one secondhand on Facebook Marketplace. V was in hers until she was about 2.5, so we definitely got our money’s worth.
Were I to do it all over, I’d also consider the Stokke Tripp-Trapp chair (or its other brand cheaper equivalent) because it also grows with baby and seems like it would be easier to keep clean. It also has a smaller footprint. The downside is it doesn’t seem as comfortable as the Siesta.
Whatever you choose, I’d go for one that you can easily wipe down or wash. So, removable seat covers, detachable tray/liner that you can put in the dishwasher, and with a 5-point harness so that babies are secured in it while you, I dunno, give your arms a rest or jump in the shower or chop an onion…
PLAY
Bouncer
Baby Bjorn
There are cheaper brands available but I think these are the most comfortable and the easiest to wash. There will be spit-up. Oh yes, there will be spit-up..
REGISTRIES
MULTIPLE CHOICES
I created a registry on both Amazon (free shipping for most people) and Buy Buy Baby. Then, I combined the registries on BabyLi.st, which is a great way to keep track of multiple registries in one place. I’ve also heard good things about Target and Pottery Barn, although never used them myself.
Pro tip: Add stuff to your registry that you might appreciate a closing discount on. Amazon and Target offer two discounts: one at closing, and one three months later. This is helpful for a second round of purchases, e.g. highchairs, that you might not need right away
Pro tip: Babies are in Size 3 diapers for a while, so to the extent that you put disposable diapers on your registry, I’d recommend a bunch in Size 3. If you are expecting multiples, you’d be crazy not to do this.
Meal Train
This was one of the most helpful things that friends and family did for us. You can add gift card options for your out-of-town village so that you can order delivery. YOU WILL NOT BE MAKING ANYTHING MORE THAN A PBJ FOR AT LEAST A MONTH. Ask for gift cards for a restaurant delivery service (you’ll have to figure out the most convenient one for your area) as well as Instacart. Even now it’s worth the extra $15 in fees to have someone go to the grocery store on my behalf. (Use this link or code LVASIL1DE186 to get us both $10 off our next order!)
SAFETY
Car Seats
You could write a whole blog post—nay, book—on car seats. With the disclaimer that I am not a CPST, here’s a quick lowdown.
Infant
Infant refers to the kind that detaches from its base. They should last you 6-12 months. KeyFit 30 are pretty popular because they can accommodate babies as light as 5lbs.
Love our Chicco KeyFit 30. It’s one of the most popular brands for infant car seats (and one of the very few you can buy using Buy Buy Baby (Bed Bath & Beyond)’s 20% coupons as Chicco (pronounced “keeko”) is one of the only car seat brands that takes these coupons. Lots of adapters available for the KeyFit 30. If I had to do it all over again, I’d buy the version with the zip, in case of blow outs and spit up.
Convertible
So-called because they can rear face (RF) or forward face (FF). Practically speaking this means they can be used from birth until 40lbs (about age 2-3). Downside is that you can’t take them out of your car and click them into your car seat stroller!
We used a Chicco NextFit (RF to 40lbs) with V before I had a sense of how young she’d still be by the time she outgrew the RF limits. I then ‘upgraded’ her to another seat brand that I don’t recommend. She now rides FF in the NextFit, which will last her until she’s ready for a booster. I love this seat because it’s sooooo easy to install. And a seat that is easy to install is a seat that is safe!
We have the twins in a Clek Fllo. Definitely one of the more expensive convertible car seats. Luckily we found two on sale! I want to RF the twins for at least as long as I did V, so figured two Fllos would be cheaper than two NextFits followed by a third pair of car seats. I’ve been using these seats since August 2019 and really like them. (Easy to install, side impact protection, RF to 50 lbs.)
Pro tip: Come the time you buy convertible car seats, I highly recommend buying ones that will RF past 40 lbs. The law in many states is that kids must RF until they are 2, but it’s actually much safer to keep them extended rear-facing (ERF) until they outgrow the RF limits of their particular car seat. See the evidence for ERF here.
SLEEPING
Blackout Curtains
ADD CONTENT
Burp cloths / receiving blankets / muslins
Stretchy ones are lovely for the early swaddling days; I also like Aden + Anaïs as they are softer than Target’s Cloud Island brand.
Clothes
You really don’t need much at the beginning. Until umbilical cords fall off, avoid anything with an elasticated waist. You want onesies and sleepers. You might request sleepers with zips as they are wayyyyy easier to deal with in the middle of the night.
When you do decide to buy clothes, I love basics from Primary.com. And if you use this link or this code (primarylaurenv50), you get 25% off your first order (and I get $10!).
Crib
We loved the Halo Twin Bassinest™ so much I’d recommend the single version! Our twins were in until they were about 5 months. Even if you don’t have a cesarean, it’s a godsend. You’ll need about 48″ clearance on the side of your bed for it to rotate. (The actual crib part is 36″.)
Swaddles and sleep sacks
Halo sleep swaddles for newborns; Zipadee (A’s fave*) and Love to Dream (Z’s fave*) transitional swaddles for when babies start to roll over (when you have to stop swaddling); and when baby needs a sleep sack I like Halo and Aden & Anaïs muslin sleep sacks.
* There is no one perfect thing for all babies. As with all things parenthood, it’s trial and error! You have to figure out what works best for your baby!
White noise
We have the Dohm and like it a lot. Don’t bother buying the travel version—in a pinch you can download the White Noise app which allows you to customize sounds. For the love of all things unholy, prioritise sleep.
WALKS & GOING OUTSIDE
Baby Carriers
We used our Boba Wrap in the early days with all three babies. This is a nice stretchy wrap (aka an unstructured carrier) that is great for having your hands free. It’s a long (like, 12 feet) piece of stretchy jersey-like material that you wrap around your body.
When baby is older, you can join a local lending library to figure out which structured carrier works for you. I loved the Standard Tula for 6M-18M V, and Toddler Beco for 18M+ V. When my twins were tiny I wore the Twingo, which I bought secondhand. (Buy secondhand if you can!) Carriers are not cheap, but they are worth every penny. Think about having your hands free to eat, grocery shop, etc.!
Stroller (SINGLE)
I’d recommend test driving a few. Pay attention to basket space underneath, SPF extendable canopy with magnetic peekaboo windows, and one that you can push with one hand. I love the Uppababy Vista for V so much I converted it to a double tandem stroller for the twins.
Double strollers
When I was pregnant with twins, or had infant twins, I was given a bunch of double strollers by my fantastic community. Ultimately I decided to convert my Vista to a tandem stroller. Runners up include the Bumbleride Indie Twin (okay basket, bouncy ride, heavyyyy, but love how it folds forward) and the City Mini GT (poor basket access, easily tipped backwards, but loved the easily folding). I wanted to love an umbrella stroller, but couldn’t find one that you can push with one hand and that had an extendable canopy (key for protecting redheads in Southern California), but the Uppababy double umbrella stroller was the best I found.
MISC. ADVICE
Laundry
Do one small load every day. Trust me. As for detergent, I don’t think you NEED to have a separate detergent if you’re already using a dye- and scent-free kind. Dreft stain remover spray works wonders on baby poop stains and is gentle enough for baby.
Websites to know about (IF YOU’RE IN THE US)
AlbeeBaby.com – good deals on gear
Amazon Subscribe and Save is your friend. If you haven’t already used it, you should know that you get 20% off diapers and wipes with a subscription, and 5% or 15% on everything else. (When you have 5+ things added, the 5% discount increases to 15% on everything else, but diapers and wipes stay at 20%.) The beauty is you can skip deliveries.
LuciesList.com – put in your due date to receive age- and stage-appropriate advice + shopping tips
BabyGearLab.com – helpful for comparing products across brands
KellyMom.com – hands down the most comprehensive resource for everything related to breastfeeding.
So there you have it! Hope this helps you figure out parenthood. Two last pro tips: 1) We’re all winging it ;-) and 2) No one knows your baby like you do. ♡
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