Disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional. The following advice is based on my personal experience.
1) Get up as soon as they let you. It will fucking hurt, even 30 mins after taking Percocet, but I’m convinced that put me on the road to recovery. If you can do it once you can keep doing it. The first time is by far the worst.
2) To get up, draw your knees close to your chest to help get yourself out of bed. Push up with your hands. Use the bed frame to get you sitting on edge of bed. Use leg muscles to stand. If necessary, have someone help lift you by your head (arms pull on stomach, ouch!)
3) Two days after surgery you will feel like you got hit by a truck. This is the worst day because the anaesthesia and heavy narcotics have left your system. Ask for an abdominal binder if you don’t already have one.
4) Embrace wearing mesh underwear / granny knickers and abdominal binder. They are awesome.
5) Send the baby to the nurses’ station so you can sleep for a couple hours in the night. It doesn’t make you a bad mom, it makes you a more relaxed mom!
6) A bath robe from home is nice to have.
7) Eat lots of fruit. Your first crap will take 30 minutes. Painkillers constipate you, even with all the Colace they give you.
8) You will learn to (almost happily) pass wind in front of everyone.
9) You may be very puffy from all the IV fluids they give you. My thighs were twice their size and a poke from a finger would leave a dimple! It took a week to sweat and pee it out.
10) You will sweat like a pig, especially if breastfeeding. Stay hydrated!
11) Wear your abdominal binder in the car for as long as feels comfortable. It protects your scar from the seatbelt and it feels better to have something holding you together.
12) If you want to breastfeed, STAY ON TOP OF YOUR MEDS! By which I mean: take the damn painkillers and take them regularly. Pain inhibits milk production, and it’s easier to keep pain at bay than stop it once it’s flared up.
13) Whatever pain or discomfort you find yourself in, you will look at your lovely baby and do it all over again in a heartbeat.