Since our WTF on June 12, I’ve been in major research mode: I’ve consulted with my Ob/Gyn about how to proceed with our next transfer; I’ve had my autoimmune blood test results; yesterday I had a second opinion consultation with a top RE, Dr. T; and I am drafting an email to my current RE, an edited version of which…
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What My OB Said
I met with my ObGyn on Tuesday, just a few hours after the news that has broken me. I had a few questions for her: Q: If we transferred two embryos, what additional risks (beyond a standard twin pregnancy) would I face? A: No additional risks. In fact, if anything, your risk is lower because you never had any bleeding…
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Lightning Strikes Twice
Last week was the eye of the storm. I went into practical mode, making appointments, researching anything I could to discuss with my RE and ObGyn. My best friend visited for a few days, and her presence was a welcome distraction from the threatening rains. But I knew the clouds would break when I started bleeding. ♥ I prepare for…
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The Eye of the Storm
I beat Monday morning rush hour traffic and arrived early to my blood draw. I sat, miserable, in a corner of the waiting room. To my right sat a happy woman about to ‘graduate’. I stole a glance at the woman with a stoic face opposite, and I imagined she was new to the infertility world. My name was called….
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Suspected Chemical Pregnancy
When we made the decision to try for a second child it was after a conversation with my Ob/Gyn who agreed with me that a hysterectomy was likely at the time of delivery. In short, yes, I’m willing to give up my fucking uterus in order to have a second child. September 2016: natural cycle cancelled because ovulation was delayed…
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What the FRER…?
It’s been a roller coaster of a week, and I won’t be getting off this ride just yet. I peed on a FRER this morning. My grim resignation turned to me rubbing my eyes. I couldn’t tell if they were playing tricks on me, or if I saw the faintest hint of a second line. (Plus, the new curved FRER…
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Limbo
I caved and tested two days earlier than I said I would. Early Saturday morning, a full bladder awakened me. I stole out of bed and pulled out my stash of Wondfo cheapies from the last two FETs. BFN. It’s Wednesday, and it’s been BFN ever since. I’m not totally freaking out because it’s still early. Transfer was a week…
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FET3 and PUPO
At my baseline ultrasound a couple of weeks ago, I saw a large black circle flash across the screen as the nurse tried to locate my left ovary. Fuck. I cursed silently. “Ugh, a cyst,” the nurse and I said in unison. She raised a how-could-you-tell eyebrow. “I’ve had enough ultrasounds at this point to know that a large black…
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Innocence Lost
Over the weekend, someone asked me how I have found the courage to try for another baby, when I had such a terrifying delivery. It was a great question, because it really made me think. I concluded that for the person who never experienced pregnancy loss, infertility, or a high-risk pregnancy, but who haemorrhaged during delivery, that is the point…
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Listen Up! Having a Baby Cures Childlessness—NOT Infertility
So here I am again, officially in cycle again. The first two FETs didn’t work, so I am throwing a bunch of stuff at this cycle in the hope that something—specifically, an embryo—sticks. FET3 coincides with National Infertility Awareness Week; the theme this year is Listen Up. So, listen up! because here’s what I want everyone to know: Having a…
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