Limbo

I caved and tested two days earlier than I said I would. Early Saturday morning, a full bladder awakened me. I stole out of bed and pulled out my stash of Wondfo cheapies from the last two FETs.

BFN.

It’s Wednesday, and it’s been BFN ever since.

I’m not totally freaking out because it’s still early. Transfer was a week ago today, so I am 7dp5dt Technically it is a Day 6 embryo, but the embryologist said developmentally it’s irrelevant which day (5 or 6) it’s transferred. So I am ‘buying’ myself an extra day…

In other words, I am the equivalent of 12dpo. Yes, it’s still early. And maybe it was a dud batch of HPTs. But if my luteal phase is normally 13 days, does that mean Friday is the first day of my ‘missed period’, or does it not work like that with all the hormones I’m taking? (I never did IVF with my own eggs, so I’m a bit behind in my understanding.)

But unlike the last two FETs, I’m not freaking out already. And this time there has been a consistent intermittent cramping and feeling of pressure in my uterus, like I had with the V cycle. Monday and Tuesday, my anxiety spiked and the symptoms subsided a little, like it did with the V cycle. This morning, a little bit of spotting, on the exact same day past transfer of the V cycle. (Also, my breasts are sore, but even though I didn’t have the last two times, I am chalking that up to progesterone.)

I can’t believe it’s worked, because I have no proof. And yet I can’t believe it hasn’t worked.

My beta is Monday. Only five days till we have an answer.

Edited to add: a few hours after this post was published, I used a FRER: BFN.