Today marks the first of the final anniversary firsts: a year ago today I conceived Bean, and today I am going to Little K’s baptism followed by a PVED (Parents Via Egg Donation) meeting in Los Angeles. I’d describe my mood as wistful but I’m trying to keep upbeat because one study showed that IVF success rates were linked to…
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Move Over, Walter White, There’s a New Queenpin in Town…
It’s official: I am in cycle. Two days ago I got my DEIVF calendar, and suddenly things got a lot more real. I excitedly printed a copy for my acupuncturist who I was seeing that morning, and by lunchtime I had already memorised its dates. Lunch was with my friend, E, who is now 13 weeks pregnant. No stranger to…
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Behold! The Real Thing is Upon Us
Just got my calendar this morning!!! The date of embryo transfer may be a few days later than the timeframe below, because it doesn’t take PGD (genetic testing on embryos) into consideration. BEHOLD! Begin one Baby Aspirin daily (81 mg), any brand is fine. If allergic to aspirin, do not take. Also begin one Prenatal Vitamin daily. Any brand is…
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Protected: The Ugliness of Grief
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Protected: Mitigating Shame
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The Grand Canyon
March 2011 was the first time I visited the Grand Canyon. How different life was back then. Only six weeks before, we’d spontaneously decided to leave New York, our home for five years, for California. With little time to spare, we packed up our Brooklyn apartment, rented a car, and, like so many before us, headed west. The long drive…
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Farewell 2013
Greetings from the Grand Canyon, where DH and I will be ringing in 2014 with some good friends who have been very supportive this year. I always thought 13 was a lucky number. Now I’m not so sure: 2013 was definitely the worst year of my life, for so many interwoven reasons. So with 13 hours to go, I thought…
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A Poem: From Then to Maternity?
At the beginning of the year few people acknowledged the loss that tore me apart Why, oh why, oh why? I don’t understand! I don’t understand… The sobs, the howls, the shrieks, the grief that shuddered through me limb from limb, soul from heart. Most said nothing, or their fear filled the awkward silence with a paltry platitude. It wasn’t…
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Protected: An Important Lesson
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Protected: Glad Rags
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