Another wave, another crest,
Another arrow through my breast.
Feelings tumble with nowhere to go —
I crumble and stumble, and can’t stop the flow.
When this is over, what’ll be left
of me, this woman ever bereft?
I’m still me, and yet I am not
the same person who laughed a lot.
I’ve changed. I hope for the better.
I long for grief to release its fetter
and wish I knew when that would be,
but life just keeps on testing me.
I’ve given up on the idea of fairness,
in its place comes self-awareness.
I’m still me–with added baggage.
I’m still me– a bit more damaged.
I wish I weren’t making my way so blindly,
I wish I’d been treated more kindly.
I wish I knew how this chapter would end:
will it happen again? will it happen again?
It’s the same old heart, scarred and broken;
the same old thoughts are left unspoken.
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[…] I pulled out my phone. There was a poem from a dear friend, the lovely Lauren of @OnFecundThought. It was a gift. It was kindness. It gave […]
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[…] Lauren on Reset […]
This is such a powerful poem and helps me feel less alone. Thank you, Lauren.
Thank YOU, Della. For everything xo
“Crumble and stumble”. So true. Goddamit, you’re awesome. We’re all awesome. Can’t things get better for us?!
THEY WILL. THEY WILL. THEY WILL.
Um, how about August? Ha! Yes, we are all awesome, can we all please get knocked up with sticky babies in August?!?!
The part that stuck out most to me was “I wish I’d been treated more kindly.” I wish the same thing for you. You would think that in the midst of loss, kindness wouldn’t be too much to ask. Again, so sorry.
Sad, but true — and yet the more I talk about it, Em, the more I realise how many of us have been treated unkindly. Much love to you x
Wow! Beautiful! Love xx
Love to you xx
Beautiful…Simply beautiful…And in our pain we come to see a lot of what is and what is not with different eyes.
Tia
Yes! I think so… Time will tell xo
Beautiful poem. Thank you for sharing. Sending virtual hugs your way.
Thank you, Victoria. Hugs to you too xo
So sorry sweetie. Huge hugs to you….
Thank you xo
Such a beautiful poem. Thank you for sharing it with us :)
I’m glad you liked it xo
Lovely. I share some of your posts with my online infertility group, because they’re well-written and meaningful. I’ll share this one too…
Online IF group? How cool! How does one become a member? I know a couple of people who might benefit from such a group. Thanks for sharing my posts!
This is a group of people in the Sacramento, CA region… There’s an infertility group, a pregnancy group, a parenting and pregnancy after infertility group (which is now mostly parenting since the pregnancy group started), an adoption group, and now a child-free group. I believe only local members, and a few that were local and then moved away, are part of it (we might be up to 100 now). If your friends are within about 50 miles of Sacramento let me know and I’ll try to hook them up
I don’t think I know anyone up in Sacramento. But it sounds like a wonderful group!
Hugs to you. I wish I had something more comforting to say.
Your stopping by, your continuous support and thoughtful comments, are enough, Egg. Truly xo
Beautiful…
Glad you thought so xo
I’m here for you, L. I’m glad you wrote today. And I hope you know I am here to hear your most unspeakable thoughts.
Much love, my friend.
You’re a peach. DITTO.