It’s National Infertility Awareness Week, and this year’s theme is #FlipTheScript. Does it bother me when I see my donor’s features reflected in my daughter? Short answer: no. Although I’d be lying when I am reminded how we live in a society that assumes all family members share DNA (“Ohhh, they look so much like … Read More about Is it Weird to See How Much Your Kid Looks Like Your Donor? #NIAW 2018 • Day 2
Did You Know: Moms via Egg Donation are Biological Mothers? #NIAW 2018 • Day 1
It’s National Infertility Awareness Week, and this year’s theme is #FlipTheScript. I’ll be posting something here on OFT, as well as on Instagram (@OnFecundThought and @TheTryingTimes) every day this week. And because I’m “out-out” about our infertile struggles and how we came to create our family, I’ll also be sharing to my personal Facebook and … Read More about Did You Know: Moms via Egg Donation are Biological Mothers? #NIAW 2018 • Day 1
FET Accompli
The results of our February FET are in—at the bottom of this [long!] post. Back in November, my RE handed me the reins for a future cycle. By then, we’d had five failed cycles—two were cancelled, two were straight-up BFNs, and one (my May girl) was a chemical pregnancy. In asking me what I wanted … Read More about FET Accompli
Four Years After Fifty-Five Eggs, Ten Embryos, and One Child… FET 6
We retrieved FIFTY-FIVE eggs from your egg donor today, so we got a very large group of eggs today. We’ve already cleaned them to look at their maturity… There are currently 40 mature, with a chance of maybe up to five more maturing in the next few hours. We’d love to discuss with you how … Read More about Four Years After Fifty-Five Eggs, Ten Embryos, and One Child… FET 6
Five Years
It was five years ago today that I took a pregnancy test for the first time and saw a second pink line darken before the control line. I didn’t know it then, but at that moment the biological clock that had been ticking for years started counting down to the infertility diagnosis that had been … Read More about Five Years
WTF 4
Our WTF meeting didn’t go so well. I mean, after the cursory, “This must be so disappointing for you…,” my RE’s opening words were, “So what do you want to do?” Which, if I were a cancer patient, would suggest more palliative care than cure. I mean, when else does a doctor hand over the … Read More about WTF 4
What is Enough?
It’s noon. Had things gone well, I’d be wrapping up my FET by now. Instead, I’m tapping out anger and wearing my gym clothes. Last night I drank four dry Manhattans. This morning I am dehydrated. I note that normally four cocktails would have brought on a migraine, but I haven’t had one since starting … Read More about What is Enough?
78 Days Down the Drain
My cycle—what would have been FET4—was cancelled. And the anger that I feel is deeper than anything I’ve felt in a long time. I went in for my final lining check on Wednesday, and as soon as a small black triangle flashed in and out of focus on the screen, I cursed inwardly. The nurse … Read More about 78 Days Down the Drain
Day 5: Capture Your Grief
Day 5 of #captureyourgrief coincides with my undue date for Mizuko Bean. Bean showed up with two bold pink lines, but with my fucked up DNA he never stood a chance: he stopped growing at 6 weeks but I didn’t miscarry. (You can read my letter to him, Dear Little Mizuko Bean, here.) Curiously, my … Read More about Day 5: Capture Your Grief
I’m a Nominee for Resolve’s Hope Award for Best Blog!?!?!?!?!?!?
When I wrote a blog post back in April about my current favourite slant on infertility—that having a baby cures childlessness, not infertility—I never seriously imagined it would be shortlisted for Resolve’s Night of Hope Award for Best Blog. And, holy mercury-filled mackerel, here I am! Of course, I’d love to win. Who wouldn’t? But … Read More about I’m a Nominee for Resolve’s Hope Award for Best Blog!?!?!?!?!?!?
