It’s National Infertility Awareness Week, and this year’s theme is #FlipTheScript.
Does it bother me when I see my donor’s features reflected
in my daughter?
Short answer: no.
Although I’d be lying when I am reminded how we live in a society that assumes all family members share DNA (“Ohhh, they look so much like you!” or “Does she get that red hair from you?”), that’s only because it’s a reminder of the very long and very painful journey it took to have V.
Though there may be shock waves even years later (infertility and pregnancy loss PTSD is a real thing, btw), I wouldn’t change a thing.
But as for seeing my donor’s beautiful eyes look at me every day, I am reminded of the generosity of her donation, and the reasons why I picked her—a remarkable mom who shares the same values as I do; who, like me, is artistic, loves language, and is a goofball.
It’s worth remembering that the story of how my daughter came to be is, to quote my egg donation mentors, “…first and foremost, a love story.”
♥
I’ll be posting something here on OFT, as well as on Instagram (@OnFecundThought and @TheTryingTimes) every day this week.
And because I’m “out-out” about our infertile struggles and how we came to create our family, I’m also sharing to my personal Facebook and Instagram accounts too. #FlipTheScript
We have generations of adoption in our family. And ‘family resemblances’ without genetics. Love is love and family is family by birth or love or pure good fortune. You are a powerful advocate, thank you!
And that is a really powerful reminder! I’m going to try to talk a little bit more about nature vs. nurture in a future post! Thank you for your wonderful comment <3