It’s National Infertility Awareness Week, and this year’s theme is #FlipTheScript.
Does it bother me when I see my donor’s features reflected
in my daughter?
Short answer: no.
Although I’d be lying when I am reminded how we live in a society that assumes all family members share DNA (“Ohhh, they look so much like you!” or “Does she get that red hair from you?”), that’s only because it’s a reminder of the very long and very painful journey it took to have V.
Though there may be shock waves even years later (infertility and pregnancy loss PTSD is a real thing, btw), I wouldn’t change a thing.
But as for seeing my donor’s beautiful eyes look at me every day, I am reminded of the generosity of her donation, and the reasons why I picked her—a remarkable mom who shares the same values as I do; who, like me, is artistic, loves language, and is a goofball.
It’s worth remembering that the story of how my daughter came to be is, to quote my egg donation mentors, “…first and foremost, a love story.”
I’ll be posting something here on OFT, as well as on Instagram (@OnFecundThought and @TheTryingTimes) every day this week.
And because I’m “out-out” about our infertile struggles and how we came to create our family, I’m also sharing to my personal Facebook and Instagram accounts too. #FlipTheScript