The beach pebble sinking through dark waters I am plummeting slowly, silently, discreetly, like the thing I missed Open hands, lost my grip on gratitude released on the wind it flew away from me, how will I find it again? I walk among the living, living life some see a woman but none of them … Read More about Ten Five Thirteen
D to the C: Dilation & Curettage
My experience of having a D&C was very positive. The pre-op visit the day before surgery had prepared me: don’t eat or drink anything after midnight. Please shower the morning of. Please take off jewellery, make up, and nail polish, and remove contact lenses. Please check in for your 10:30 am surgery at 08:30 am. … Read More about D to the C: Dilation & Curettage
What I Am Learning From My Miscarriage
(Yesterday I didn’t post because it was D-[&C] Day and I ended up having a general anaesthetic. It went very well — no emergency hysterectomy needed! — and another post will follow soon for those of you who are curious to know what it was like.) Today I am posting late because most of my … Read More about What I Am Learning From My Miscarriage
More Gratitude
Thich Nhat Hahn wrote, A real love letter is made of insight, understanding, and compassion. Otherwise it is not a love letter. I took the plunge this afternoon and shared my blog link on Facebook. At first, I rather feared the response, but it was the fear that propelled me forward. So what if people … Read More about More Gratitude
The Day Before Surgery
In about 24 hours’ time, I will be coming out of the PACU (Post Anaesthesia Care Unit). I had my pre-op check-up today (I think that was trans-vaginal ultrasound #5 in 2.5 weeks, yow!) and looks like that pesky tissue is still lurking and causing grief. Begone, tissue! Bugger off, pain! I’ve lost another couple … Read More about The Day Before Surgery
Gratitude
It was two weeks ago today that I found out there was a problem with my pregnancy. I am still filled with sadness, but today I am also feeling immense gratitude for all the unusually wonderful things that have happened since then. I am grateful for having proof that I know my body as well … Read More about Gratitude
Officially No Longer Pregnant
Since Saturday night, I have been in discomfort during the day and/or with pain relief. At night, before the pain relief kicks in, it has been absolute agony. I have since learned via my SIL that a friend of hers had to take Misoprostol because her insurance wouldn’t cover a D&C. Her friend said the … Read More about Officially No Longer Pregnant
What I’m Allowed to Have Again
Jeans. I can get back in them. Bagels with the Lox. Fuhgeddaboudit! Coffee. Hello, my old friend. Wine. How I have missed thee with dinner. Deli meat. Ah, the staple lunch of sliced lemon pepper chicken breast sandwich. Burrata with homemade peach habanero jam. A double whammy of pregnancy forbidden fruit. I’m sure there are … Read More about What I’m Allowed to Have Again
Miscarriage of Justice
At nine minutes past midnight on Sunday March 10th, I had one of the most primal experiences of my life where instinct took over. I’ve already posted about what miscarriage feels like but this is about the delivery of the placenta. If you are squeamish, this might be a post you want to skip… I … Read More about Miscarriage of Justice
What Miscarriage Feels Like
I should have been 10 weeks today. Instead, I am having a miscarriage. The Misoprostol finally kicked in last night — some 43 hours after I took the second dose — and it has been wave after wave of cramping ever since. Actually, cramping isn’t the word. (There’s a reason I was prescribed Vicodin.) More … Read More about What Miscarriage Feels Like
