Officially No Longer Pregnant

Since Saturday night, I have been in discomfort during the day and/or with pain relief.  At night, before the pain relief kicks in, it has been absolute agony. I have since learned via my SIL that a friend of hers had to take Misoprostol because her insurance wouldn’t cover a D&C. Her friend said the pain was greater than any of her four children’s births. I haven’t had the fortune yet to give birth, but I can believe her. At the very least, I think pain might be more manageable, psychologically, when you know there is a baby at the end of it. It makes me think I could go the medication-free birth route, if and when my time comes.

For now, I have to focus on Now.

Yesterday was a long day.  I returned to the doctor to have my third ultrasound, this time to check that all the tissue (what some medical professional call “products of conception”) had passed. I showed her the placenta I had passed. It was hard to tell what’s what, because I’d kept it in the freezer for 36 hours (I should add, in a sterile hospital jar, which I wrapped in kitchen roll and placed into an insulated lunch bag) and it had dried out a bit.

Dr. T. pointed to the screen and said See this thing that looks like a fuzzy cotton wool ball? That’s a blood clot. At this point, all of my ultrasounds had been trans-vaginal, but there was a dark shadow — nothing like fluffy cotton wool — at the top of my uterus that made her decide to do an abdominal ultrasound. I said to her that I was fine with a D&C at this point. I just want the pain to end and to get my life back.

Still, she couldn’t be sure that this shadow wasn’t leftover tissue so wanted me to get an more in-depth scan in radiology. They very kindly managed to squeeze me in at short notice. I drank a bottle of water during my 45-minute wait. Then, an in-depth abdominal ultrasound. It was quite painful, as my whole lower belly is extremely tender. Then, empty my bladder for the second trans-vaginal ultrasound, even more painful as every inch of my reproductive organs were probed, prodded, and photographed.

The radiologist took more than 50 images which she measured, coloured, and tested for blood flow. When it was over, the head of radiology came over to introduce herself. I can confirm that there is blood flow in that tissue. You need a D&C. I’ve already spoken to Dr. T, who says to go back downstairs and see her again.

Back in the OB/GYN clinic, Dr. T. remembered what I said about wanting to put this whole, sad episode behind me. I was touched that she remembered what I said and understood how I felt.  WIth the help of someone in the office, Dee, they managed to find some OR time to schedule my D&C on Thursday. (Usually the clinic has the OR blocked off on Friday afternoons, so I feel like Dr. T. and Dee went above and beyond to get me in this week.)

I asked Dr. T. if she had seen the radiologist’s scans and if the tissue left behind was the fetus. She said no, it was regular tissue. I felt relief, knowing I had definitively passed the little bean myself.

Tomorrow, I have a pre-op visit, 24 hours ahead of surgery scheduled for 10.30am.  I am nervous, but it can’t come soon enough.  Living in constant pain for eight days is beginning to make me feel desperate.

For now, I’m just trying to get my head around the fact that I am officially no longer pregnant.