I cancelled my thyroid ultrasound. After my consultation with Dr. A, clinical professor and specialist in endometriosis, I needed to go straight home.
I forced myself to wait in that fucking obgyn waiting room. I allowed myself to cry. Little did I know what news I’d get next.
I was diagnosed with stage ii endo in April 2001, so today’s meeting was how best to manage endo whilst TTC, how to improve my chances of getting pregnant, and what I could do to minimize the risk of miscarrying again.
The news was shocking. I am less fertile than most women my age. My FSH is 11.8: anything above 12 is high, which means my brain is needs to produce more hormone to stimulate my follicles, which denotes that I have fewer eggs. It looks like I could have Premature Ovarian Aging. Test will tell more.
We’re going to proceed as normal for a couple months, during which time I will have an HSG to see if my endo is affecting my ovaries and Fallopian tubes. I will also have an AMH test to see just how many eggs I have left. I was sent home with a cup for DH. Meanwhile, I will stop drinking coffee, limit other caffeine and booze, stock up on Pre-Seed, and hope that I can get pregnant all the while trying to minimize my stress (wot?). If I’m not pregnant in a few months’ time, I will have to start Clomid.
The window of opportunity I thought I had in which to conceive just grew a lot fucking smaller. I know my bad news is not much to bear compared to a lot of people in the IF community, but I’m devastated.
Egg Timer says
Oh lauren, I am so sorry to hear this news.
Lauren says
3
Celeste says
Oh Lauren. I’m SO so sorry to hear about this news. You’ve had such a week, haven’t you? There have been so many times I’ve wished we lived near one another, and this is definitely one of those times. I’d hold you and let you cry and cuss and snot all over me.
Lauren says
It’s been quite a week indeed! Yeah, it would be cool if we lived closer. I’d let you snot all over me too :)
slowly blossoming says
I just got back from a week off-line and am catching up on your posts. What a roller coaster. First the epiphany of grace, your choosing life, then the birth of the other baby, the Christian angel in the gift shop, and now this.
Please be kind to yourself. Give yourself Reiki treatments whenever you remember to do so. And call me when you have a moment. Let’s go for a walk together. I’m back in the city now.
Lauren says
I’d like that. x
kerrieadam says
I am so sorry. Those numbers change every month. Don’t get beat up too much. I was on Clomid the time I concieved and got my first Rainbow baby. This time I am on Femara after miscarrying again getting pregnant on clomid. Trying for my 2nd rainbow baby. Don’t give up hope. Hugs!
Lauren says
Thank you for this! I’m hoping that as they weren’t taken on CD3, but instead the day before I ovulated, the numbers are way off. Still waiting to hear back from the doctor about this, so it’s comforting to read your comment, thank you xx
redbluebird says
Oh, I’m so sorry! So much to handle all at once. But I do know that FSH levels vary– yours could very well be better the next time it’s tested. And it wasn’t that long ago when you did conceive naturally, so that seems like a reason to be hopeful to me. That being said, I was kind of rushed into starting Clomid & IUIs by the RE because of my endo (and because I’m 34). I was hesitant at first, but I thought hey– whatever gives me the best chance. I’ve read great things about CoQ10 too. I used it for a few months before the successful IUI. Not sure if it helped, but it doesn’t hurt! I’m hoping things start going right for you soon. xo
Lauren says
Thanks, Bluebird. Whew, yes, it’s been quite a week. On your suggestion, I bought some CoQ10 which I will take today! I’ve been reading all about it, seems like it’s very good for boosting egg quality. Thank you x
andjustaddwater says
You are totally entitled to be bummed by the news you received today. I don’t have advice to offer you but know that I am commiserating with you and sending you good vibes for a successful pregnancy soon.
Lauren says
I appreciate your vibes xoxo
Catwoman73 says
Oh no, Lauren. I’m so sorry.
There are things you can do to help with ovarian reserve- Coenzyme Q10, DHEA, healthy doses of b- and c- vitamins. That being said, I would absolutely not put too much stock in one FSH value- when I conceived my daughter, my day 3 fsh was ranging anywhere from 6 to 11. It can swing quite a bit month to month. Have you had an antral follicle count done? I would rely more on that and the AMH to tell the whole story. However- I have conceived naturally 4 times, even with a low AFC and AMH.
I know it doesn’t always feel like it, but good things do happen.
Check out this post for some really good info on supplements…
http://infertilechemist.wordpress.com/2013/07/04/supplements-part-i-dhea/
Hang in there, sweetie… we’re here for you. Huge hugs…
Lauren says
Thank you so much, this gives me hope. Of course, I have been doing lots of reading about FSH, and I’m wondering how reliable the data is though — my FSH actually wasn’t tested on CD3, but about 15 days (a day or two before ovulation?) before my period returned after my miscarriage. Assuming I did ovulate then, wouldn’t it be expected that my FSH would be high? Isn’t that the point, that it spikes to stimulate ovaries? These are my questions for the doctor (don’t worry, I don’t expect you to know the answers!) and I hope to hear back from him soon. In the meantime, I will cling to your success story, and others’! xx