I first became aware of actress Kathryn Hahn in Transparent, and loved how she brought a gentle but feisty vulnerability to her role as the rabbi. Later, I was convinced to go to the movies to watch Bad Moms purely because she was in it—I really am not into chick flicks, but I will never forget the scene where she explains how to give head to an intact penis. I laughed till I cried! So when I saw that she was co-lead in Private Life, a new Netflix movie about infertility, I added it to my watch list.
I’ll leave the nuts and bolts of the movie to other reviewers (many of whom, it must be pointed out, confuse egg donation with surrogacy, ugh!!) but here’s my take as a reproductive warrior and mother via egg donation: Hahn is at once sensitive, angry, and appropriately awkward in her grief over losing the genetic connection with the emerging acceptance that doggedly pursuing a baby with her own DNA is unlikely to make her a parent. I thought her ability to portray multiple emotions across her face that made her a great choice for the role of someone considering egg donation.
Although there were a few comic moments, this movie hit a little too close to home for me to agree that it is a comedy. Similarly, being the jaded infertile that I am, I couldn’t help but notice a few inaccuracies, like not testing sperm before egg retrieval, and discussing medical history in a semi-public place (a violation of HIPAA/medical privacy laws!)—but I could forgive them in the name of moving along the plot.
I would have liked to have seen more of the PTSD and grief triggers that surround infertility—particularly when it comes to saying goodbye to the idea of a genetic child—but overall I appreciated the portrayal of a rollercoaster ride without a typical Hollywood ending.
Infertiles everywhere will relate to Private Life, but I am curious to see how the fertile world will receive it.
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