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Mrs. Jumbo
The lovely If By Yes wrote about this recently: the positivity on Facebook fucking sucks. Fakebook, as I think it should be called, is the ultimate online pissing contest — for every reason imaginable. I know no one’s life is really all that perfect, but these days, I’m really feeling like Mrs. Jumbo: (Thanks again … Read More about Mrs. Jumbo
Finding the Silver Lining
I wish I had an established career where I can be creative and be rewarded for my talents. I wish I earned enough to live on, pay my bills, go out at the weekend, and put some away each month. I wish I had my own private space where I could scream sometimes if I … Read More about Finding the Silver Lining
Relentless
I’m escaping to Los Angeles for the night to see a friend who is driving down from San Francisco. It’ll be my first solo road trip, and I plan on blaring music the whole way. My friend, P., is a therapist, so although I will be able to talk to him freely about life events … Read More about Relentless
Test Results Are Back
I got a call yesterday afternoon from Dr. D. with my blood test results. Prolactin and estradiol are normal, indicating that my ovaries are working. (That’s good news!) FSH and thyroxine were not mentioned specifically, but “everything is normal”. My hCG levels are 1. (That’s bittersweet!) But my TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone) are borderline, showing … Read More about Test Results Are Back
Call the Media! I’m Having A Good Day!
Ever play the games Snakes and Ladders as a kid? Ever notice how if you got all ladders at the beginning, invariably you’d lose? But if you got all snakes at the beginning, you’d win? Seems like most days I wake up feeling alright but my mood sours as the day goes by. This morning, … Read More about Call the Media! I’m Having A Good Day!
A Poem About Kindness
Kindness – by Naomi Shihab Nye Before you know what kindness really is you must lose things, feel the future dissolve in a moment like salt in a weakened broth. What you held in your hand, what you counted and carefully saved, all this must go so you know how desolate the landscape can be … Read More about A Poem About Kindness
More Tests
I am back from the doctor’s. Dr. D, the woman who performed my D&C, examined me and said everything looks and feels normal. That’s the good news. The bad news is that I still don’t know why I haven’t yet had a period. Dr. D asked me if my cycle has ever acted up like … Read More about More Tests
Watching and Waiting
For our first wedding anniversary, DH presented me with a watch (his slightly broader interpretation of the modern anniversary gift of ‘clock’). It was, he explained, something I could wear that would remind me of “us” wherever I go. It’s a beautiful watch: a slender black leather strap and a silver face flanked by two … Read More about Watching and Waiting
