Another wave, another crest, Another arrow through my breast. Feelings tumble with nowhere to go — I crumble and stumble, and can’t stop the flow. When this is over, what’ll be left of me, this woman ever bereft? I’m still me, and yet I am not the same person who laughed a lot. I’ve changed. … Read More about Reset
Protected: Cherries and Icing
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Protected: Plus Ça Change
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Protected: Letters I
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Revolution
It was July 14th, Bastille Day. The best date for a revolution — although I wouldn’t realise that until I began to write about it the following day. It started with DH and I deciding to return to the beach for the second day running, but this time without our dog. I tweeted this non-news: … Read More about Revolution
Dear Little Mizuko Bean
Dear Little Mizuko Bean, Twice as much time has passed since you stopped growing as you ever lived. I’m learning to move forward with your void. I think about getting my first tattoo to honour your memory, but I don’t think any single image would suffice. I knew I was going to get pregnant in … Read More about Dear Little Mizuko Bean
Cautious Optimism
Monday brought the physical signs of ovulation, including a temperature dip, insatiable thirst, increased libido, decreased appetite, nausea, mittelschmirtz, and the customary watery cervical fluid. Tuesday’s temp was up 0.44º and all other symptoms — including CF — had vanished, so I was pretty sure I ovulated the day before. Wednesday brought a surprise: my … Read More about Cautious Optimism
Mantras
Today marks the day I would have entered my third trimester. Instead of feeling my baby kick and laughing about how hot and uncomfortable it is to be heavily pregnant in the summer, I am flat-bellied and fighting the gremlins of envy. I’m not sure who’s winning. It depends on the day. As I approach … Read More about Mantras
Protected: Trying Times
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Protected: Salt Water
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