I did it. I casually shared on Facebook that we used donor eggs to have Vi, and it feels really good. The response has been overwhelmingly supportive.
I felt that if I had announced that we used donor eggs, it was akin to a confession. And there is nothing to confess. But by sharing an interview that I gave for an infertility podcast, making the DEIVF part secondary, it felt more relaxed.
So my kid doesn’t share my DNA. Big deal! Plenty of family members don’t share DNA. As one therapist puts it: “Genes make people. People make families.”
So now I’ve made this blog available for anyone on the internet to see. Maybe I’ll get the occasional obnoxious comment, but I can handle it. It’ll either be a teaching moment or – if the commenter is more of a troll – I can delete their words.
There are so many people who, for whatever reason, feel awkward or ashamed or weird about sharing that they needed someone else’s help to create their family.
Not me. Not anymore. I have nothing to hide and nothing to fear. I am Vi’s mom, and I am confident in my role as mother.
Maybe someone considering egg donation will come across this blog and learn that I didn’t always feel this way, and maybe that’ll give them some hope.
More importantly, I hope by being open it will encourages other third-party parents to do the same. Because the more people who are open, the more we normalise third-party reproduction. And the more people realise how commonplace it is, the safer it is for our children.
This is me in my new Mama Bear role. See me roar!
I am glad that you have reached this place of comfort!
So proud of you! Putting such a special and intimate part of yourself out there for everyone to see is a huge deal, and I think you did it in a perfect way. Vi is so lucky to have you as a mama!
Well- done girl
Whohoo! So proud of you, and so happy that you’ve gotten to that point of confidence in your role as Vi’s Mom. I can’t wait to get a moment to listen to the interview!