I’d be lying if I said I was completely Zen with using Nellie. Although I am, for the most part, at peace with using an egg donor, there is still a part of me that is very sad that my reproductive story doesn’t include a genetic child, conceived the old-fashioned way, and, ahem, for free. When I peel back the layers…
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DEIVF Next Steps
Can it really be possible, that I have more good news? Uh-huh! Today I had my sonohysterogram (SHG) — where your uterus is filled with saline to check its lining, and to measure its length in advance of Embryo Transfer Day (which won’t happen for a while yet). I’d heard a SHG was nowhere near as painful as an HSG…
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Letting Go of the Genetic Child
A week ago, my period arrived 4-5 days early for the second month running — an alarming luteal phase of just eight days. This time, though, I felt like it was a very early loss. But, sadly, I was relieved. Only a day or two after I ovulated we learned that the genetics lab would expect “the majority, possibly all…
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Today Was an Awesome Day. Really!
November is usually a anxiety-producing month for me. Sounds crazy, I know, but a lot of the bad things that have happened in my life (parents’ split-up, illness, betrayals, and the death of my great-grandmother whom I was very close to, more so than either of my grandmothers) have happened in November. But I usually love Hallowe’en. I secretly believe…
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Dripping with Sarcasm
Today was an *awesome* day, so I decided to sink to the lowest form of wit. O hai, medical bills! So great to know that my health insurance doesn’t cover my ultrasound to diagnose DOR ($852) or the consultation with a genetic counsellor ($296) or the other $681 unitemized fees that are listed simply as ‘Pending’. Is that for my…
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Blinded by Unfairness
“My Perfect Donor” was matched over the weekend to another couple who doesn’t want to share her cycle with us, even though that would mean they would share the hefty fees with us. Fucking arseholes. Ok, maybe there are plenty of reasons why they wouldn’t want to share, but I am too upset to speculate. Their reasons are irrelevant. If…
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Coming to Terms with the Idea of Using an Egg Donor
The first time the idea of egg donation was mentioned as even a remote possibility, I got very defensive. Luckily, I was with my therapist and she knew to back track. The second time it crossed my mind was in Dr. A’s office after my antral follicle count: my fear of not being able to use my own eggs was…
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Two People
Two Genetic Counsellors Thursday, we heard back from a genetic counsellor, J, at Reprogenetics, the lab that would perform the bespoke pre-implantation genetic screening (PGS) on our embryos. The good news is that they can design a bespoke PGS probe (what is called aCGH) and its accuracy is in an “upper 90s” percentage range. The bad news is that they…
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Limits
I’m in the middle of a spring cleaning. The past couple of months have been a whirlwind of bad news–namely DOR, needing IVF, chemical pregnancy, grandmother dying, and a new diagnosis of a genetic abnormality. On the incoming front, this has meant I’m really behind in responding to a lot of you. I spent this evening responding to more than…
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Miscarriage & Infertility Video Project
It’s been a while since I was able to put into words everything that I’m feeling. I decided to take a break from writing and instead express myself in a different medium. There have been a few scenes from movies that have floated around in my head this year. Sometimes another person’s artistic vision says more about a moment than…
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