New RE.lationship

This is the selfie I took last Friday:

Last week, Nurse Bitch made me cry. She was rude and she was rough. My cervix still felt bruised the next day. She didn’t give me any inkling that my cycle would be cancelled (but I suspected it would), but I cried because I felt violated by her.

This is the selfie I took today:

I am wearing eye make-up, but how much happier do I look today?!

We met with our new RE (same clinic). I felt slightly defensive on the way, but then a rainbow on the stairs up to the waiting room made me relax a little.

I liked how she met us in the waiting room and introduced herself as “Dr. [first name][last name].” I liked how she reviewed my medical history, and asked questions about my pregnancy and delivery. I felt she was taking a personal approach to our care, instead of just reading my old RE’s notes. I also appreciated how she didn’t dumb things down and levelled with us.

She also said that breastfeeding (even this late and with my very low level of prolactin) can cause uterine contractions. There haven’t been studies because so few women breastfeed while doing an FET, but in her opinion she thinks it best to transfer an embryo under optimal conditions, i.e. not breastfeeding. Unlike Nurse Bitch, who pooh-poohed the suggestion, she agreed that I may not have ovulated because I have had BPPV (vertigo) and badly injured my toe a couple of days before ovulation. So she is happy for us to continue with a breastfeeding/unmedicated FET.

That said, she gently and respectfully explained that although my reproductive system works, it might not be as efficient as it used to be (I have diminished ovarian reserve). So, even though I ovulate, it’s likely that any corpus luteum—the ovulating follicle which releases estrogen and progesterone to sustain a pregnancy until the placenta takes over at around 12 weeks—might not produce enough hormones to sustain a pregnancy. We don’t really know.

She said we have three choices:

1. Do what we were doing, i.e. an unmedicated cycle while breastfeeding
2. Wean, then do an unmedicated cycle
3. Wean, then do a medicated cycle

We are leaning towards weaning Budi and doing a medicated cycle—the very thing I was trying to avoid, so this is testament to how much I liked her.

Something about her demeanour made me feel like I could be candid, so I told her “In the nicest way possible, I do not want to be seen by [Nurse Bitch].”  and was relieved and surprised when her answer was “No problem. Where possible, I try to do all the ultrasounds myself. If I can’t, say, because I’m in surgery, then we can have Hilary do it.”

She even gave me a business card with her email address and said I could email her any time.

Even though weaning Budi means another delay of at least two months, I am grateful that someone took the time to explain things as she sees them, and it’s because she has my interests at heart.

In other words, I feel like I finally have an RE for whom I’m not just a SART number.

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