When I was a kid I really enjoyed the movie Flight of the Navigator. In case you’re not familiar with it, a friendly alien kidnaps a boy, but when he returns him to Earth it’s eight years later. I’ve thought about 8-year periods ever since. What will I be doing in 8 years’ time? I ponder at random moments. I give it more thought at milestone events in my life.
♥
On this day in 2005, DH and I were married. That whole week leading up to our wedding, I imagined where I would be in 2013. It seemed so far away, and it was.
I imagined having a couple of kids, a satisfying career, and financial security. I pictured us living in California, in a little house with oodles of character, filled with drawings, a bounding dog, trails of plants, tripping over toys, chaos and love all rolled into one. I thought I would have mastered the art of flying long-haul with kids — my personal litmus test for knowing when I was ready to have kids was to embrace the notion of flying solo across the Atlantic with a screaming baby on my lap or, worse, a fidgety toddler, instead of plugging myself into my iPod or movies or sleep.
The reality is quite different. I have the dog, the living in California, and a few plants that are thriving. There is plenty of love, which outweighs the sense of chaos. But, everything else, well… it doesn’t look remotely like how I imagined it. It really is true: Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.
Honestly, the past eight years have mostly been tough for one reason or another. We’ve been through more downs than ups, and our relationship has weathered a series of tests that could have easily caused another couple to break up. But we’re still here, standing together, listening, laughing, loving, our hands clasped tighter than ever, filled with more love and respect for each other than we thought ever possible.
DH is both firm and tender with me: capable of gently calling me out on my bullshit and fiercely protecting me from the world’s cruelty. I adore his goofy humour that makes me grin even when I am annoyed with him. His brain always astounds me, for so many reasons, but mainly because he is an original thinker. I appreciate that we can sit in comfortable silence as we enjoy a meal or read a book. I like that we have different interests and common hobbies. I love his expressive blue eyes that grow round and bright in a moment of laughter of mischief. I love how his hand reaches over in the car, during a movie, over a glass of wine, through tears, to squeeze mine. I love how comfortable we are with each other. DH is one of the kindest and most compassionate people I’ve ever met, and I believe he has made me a better human being.
I can’t say that I’m glad for all the shit we’ve been through over the past eight years, but I am glad that our relationship keeps going from strength to strength despite the adversity.
Eight years later, our life together might not be how I pictured it, but nor could I have imagined then how our love, respect, and fondness for each other would have grown.
Ah, another similarity we share. Yesterday was my 7th anniversary — you’ve beat us by a year and a day!
We’ve also had more downs than ups, but the downs bonded us more tightly and made the highs all the higher. So, in total agreement my friend.
Well, happy anniversary to you too! I’m glad that your relationship is also the stronger for the downs.
Lauren, this is beautiful, simply beautiful. I am sure the next eight years will fling some surprises at you and your husband and I think you will weather those with strength and dignity too. Hopefully the next eight years will see you growing your beautiful family of two to three, or four, oe maybe even more. Happy anniversary.
Thank you, comrade. From your lips to God’s ears, as they say. I hope the same for you too.
Belated Anniversary wishes to you and your honey. I’m glad you’re able to see that you do have some of the good things you wished for. I like to say at times that my life gets in the way of my living, but we do have to keep the good stuff in mind.
Take care,
Arlene Coleman
Thank you Arlene!
Happy anniversary! Life never seems to go Quite as planned, but the good news is that no matter what, there is still plenty of joy to go around. Spend the day appreciating your life together, and dreaming of your future- one that WILL include children! Enjoy!
Yes, let’s catch it where we can and hang on to it for as long as possible. xxx
Happy Anniversary to you both Lauren. You should be proud of what you’ve endured together and the solidity that you have. Like you guys, my husband and I have been through more than our fair share of crap in our time together, and the universe seems to have tested us from the beginning. I often think though, about how our losses and all those other challenges, that could have driven us in opposite directions, instead drew us closer together and strengthened our bond. So I kinda know what you mean, right down to imagining how it might have looked. It’s a sometimes sucky consolation for the loss and the sadness, but it’s also something irreplacable and abiding and powerful. I’m so happy that you have each other my friend.
May the next eight years (and all the rest after that!) be filled with more ups than downs, and draw you ever closer to each other. xx
A beautiful message, Sadie. I’m so pleased you and your hubby are weathering the storm!
Congratulations and happy anniversary! I get that not everything is quite as how you planned, but having a deeper and more fulfilling relationship with your husband is a pretty amazing way to cap off 8 years.
It’s true! Now if only I could learn to be satisfied with what I already have instead of wanting an additional amazing person to share my life with!
Happy anniversary.
Thank you xo