Eight Months: T-Minus 2½ Weeks

I have officially reached the point in pregnancy where I can understand how some women long for their pregnancies to be over. I am physically uncomfortable much of the time. My belly feels like a lead weight, so it’s hard to get up without grunting, and hard to sit down without a clunk! I’m up several times a night, staggering like Tick-Tock from Return to Oz on my way to the bathroom. My hands are stiff and, despite 30 years of playing the piano, incredibly weak. I battle acid reflux at all hours, a constant feeling of needing to burp but trying not to, so as to avoid vomiting in my mouth. And I can honestly say I haven’t been this chronically exhausted since I had glandular fever (mono).

But, honestly? I am fascinated by how my body is being pushed to its limit. I am so fucking grateful to be here. I’m sure the first anniversary of October 5, my undue date with Bean, has something to do with it. The day came and went without so much of a hint of sadness. Bean’s conception was the first momentous event on this journey, and somehow his fleeting presence put me on the path to Baby V. Things make sense to me in my own way now that I can’t really explain. But I’m here, I’m still here, and maybe it’s because I already know the day Baby V will be born that I’m able to enjoy these last few weeks. I’m so looking forward to meeting her, but I will miss feeling her kicks, her squirminess, the bladder punches that make me gasp and sit up straight (no accidents so far!).

Baby V is mostly in a head down position. Sometimes she turns and her little butt sticks up, pushing the left side of my belly out. Mostly her right side faces out. I know this from the little foot that kicks and slides around between my belly button and my waist. In such moments I gently press the walnut-sized lump and say Hello foot! The joy and wonder I experience from her movements outweigh any feelings of discomfort.

I’ve also reached a point in this pregnancy where I am confident that she’ll be okay. Well, there’s a 25% chance she’ll need to spend a day or two in the NICU — caesarean babies are more prone to breathing problems because the fluid in their lungs isn’t squeezed out as they pass through the birth canal — so I’ve started telling her about what to expect on October 24th. Bright lights, new world, baby. Make that first breath count, little girl. Clear your lungs, sweetpea, and come ‘na Mama! But my fears are now more about looking after a baby and raising her. DH and I can’t wait to meet her, but we’re also overwhelmed by the amount of stuff we have to do before and/or in preparation of her arrival.

Excitingly, I had my last ultrasound before we meet her! NO MORE DILDOCAMS!!! I was astonished to see how much V has grown. For the first time it was hard for me to make out what was what, she’s so big now. Based on her measurements, they estimate her to weigh almost 6 lbs — or 2651 grams, with a +/- 387g margin of error. My lil whopper ♥. The sonographer did a quick 3-D ultrasound on her face, and we could see she was head down and drinking amniotic fluid like a guppy. For some reason, she didn’t give us a print out. Maybe because a lot of umbilical cord was bunched up and in the way.

There’s been some fun in these weeks of the final countdown. Last Tuesday was my non-shower. My MIL organized lunch for my female in-laws and two closest friends in San Diego at a fantastic restaurant overlooking the ocean. Baby V and I received some exquisite gifts — including a stunning Kate Spade diaper bag stuffed with muslins, clothes, and other newborn essentials, thanks to my generous sisters-in-law. I’ve never owned a designer handbag before, and I just love the one they picked out for me. I can use it as a hand luggage bag long after it ceases to tote diapers…

In terms of clothes, this baby has more than DH and I combined! People definitely enjoy buying clothes for little girls, but it’s thanks to Momsicle and PSIL that we have so many lovely hand-me-downs. I love the idea of this baby wearing clothes that her friends and cousins wore before her. There’s something so welcoming about that.

Today, with the help of my fabulous MIL, all the tiny clothes and linens were washed, organized by size, and put on the shelves in our bedroom closet. I set aside a few outfits, and finished packing V’s diaper bag which we’ll take to the hospital. I made sure I packed a special muslin that will be for our dog’s benefit–I want him to get used to her smell before we introduce them. I’m still working on my hospital bag. Dr. D says they can provide most things, even a toothbrush, but I’m packing a few things for comfort: a large cashmere shawl, a travel My Brest Friend pillow (thanks, L!), lip balm, our birth plan, and application form to register V as a British citizen. (She will automatically be a US citizen because of DH, plus she’ll be born on US soil; and she’s entitled to British citizenship because of me — although she won’t be able to pass it on to her children unless she lives in the UK for at least five years. Weird.)

I’m also wondering what will happen to this blog after she’s here. I can barely keep up with Twitter and blogging while she’s still an inside baby. I don’t know what will happen once she’s born. Also, I’ve noticed the readership / interaction has waned quite a bit over the past few months, so I’m not sure I’ll be motivated to keep writing updates — especially when there are so many mommy blogs out there already. I’ll see how I feel.

I’ll leave you with a couple of photos taken three weeks ago. I don’t consider myself photogenic in the slightest, but my friend, Jasmine, is a talented photographer. Not only did she catch my personality and the quirky details of this pregnancy, hand on my heart, I’ve honestly never seen lovelier photos of myself.

♥

Jasmine is a San Diego-based photographer, but she travels. Check out more of her dreamy work at LetsFrolicTogether.com